Moving

Howdy. I've been holing up in my apartment in College town for the past two days, alternately binging and starving, smoking mucho verde, and just being lazy. Tomorrow is moving day. Today I started packing. Packing sucks, but like Mom says, "it's a good way to get organized." Organized, my ass. I'm perfectly organized. Losing all my possessions ensured that I'd never be weighed down by thousands of meaningless material items. I have what I need and what I want and I like it that way.

My tongue tastes gross and metallic-like. My stomach is in knots combined with super strong urges to go. Ahem. I'll admit I like that, I always feel thinner after a few minutes in the bathroom.

I know that I'm stressed about moving but something else is going on. J. has been completely ignoring me for a week now. Absolutely and completely. I've sent him a few messages over the days and gotten no response, whatsoever. Fuck him.

Good riddance, J. We're leaving this town but not together. I hope the memory of my face or a funny thing I said gives you hell.

I just stood up and smoked a cigarette. It did not help my stress at all. I stood there, smoking, panicking. It just took me so many tries to type that, my fingers are shaking like mad. Maybe I should eat something. LOL. Nah.

Oh you guys, can you just come pack my shit and move for me tomorrow? 

In other news, I've got 100 followers. Thanks. That's a nice even number for me to contemplate. You all are so sexy.

I'll get back to my shaking and packing and downloading music and smoking and pacing. Wish someone was here to give me a hug or a slap across the face.

Think thin.

Xo 

Sar

She's got chubby thighs and arms. Don't be like her. Be like her:

Skinny arms and legs win. Always.

At least moving burns calories.

Peace.

My nerves are shot.

I'm a nervous wreck. I'm sitting here, shaking, sipping strong black coffee. I am moving in two days and I am not packed at all. I am supposed to hang with A. tonight. I want to get my hair highlighted. I have so much to do and literally not enough hours. The sad thing is, I've had all summer.

That's me, in a nut shell. Procrastinator. Buzz-seeker. Scared shitless.

You'd think I wouldn't have much to pack, considering all I lost to the flames... you'd think! However, I've done quite a bit of clothes/shoe shopping. I also have linens to bring, everything for a bathroom & kitchen, stuff for the cat, etc. I'll say it once more: I'm a fucking wreck right now.

I should be feeling groovy. Things are going okay. Sure, I binged on cereal last night, but yeah, it's all cool, baby. I'm not eating today. That's that.

I'm not allowed to waste precious time eating, nor would I want to partake. Food just makes me fat. So instead, I'll chug coffee, listen to music, do laundry, go get a pedicure, and hang with A. until he goes to work tonight (he works nights). After that, I'll come home and work some more, or relax, because there's always tomorrow.
But Thursday! Will be here before I know it! It's already Tuesday! I'm scared! I'm nervous! I'm anxious. I need a fucking Xanax. I'd sniff that shit up!

Hope I'm not boring you with my worries, but if I can't bother you, who can I bother? I think after I toss all my sheets in the dryer I'll take a walk. I need to chill the hell out. Seriously.

Ok, this week: Pack,move, unpack, organize, go to work for the first time in months, go to school for the first time in months.
Do it all again. Hit the ground running. Excel in class. Excel out of class.

I can do this. *huge, deep breath*

Oh, and don't forget to buy a carton of cigarettes, Sar. You know you're going to want them when you're out there.

Ok, and now I'm talking to myself. Holyshit. Losing it.
No, no, no.

STARVE ON!
This is the week it counts, I'm about to debut in College Town. I want to be looking great :)

Quick Question: Does anyone else watch "Huge" on ABC Family? I lo0ove that show!!! They talk about compulsive eating disorder, bulimia, etc. It's also really engaging and well-scripted. The actors are divine.

SO watch it!

Anyone else going back to school this week? GOOD LUCK!!!

Let's think thin! Let's fast today! Who's in? Keep me strong, peepz!

Ok, enough of this... I need to get moving. I also need to refill my coffee. I guess staying up until six in the morning was a mistake because I'm dead tired.

Fuck food.
It's gross.
It makes me fat.
And you, it makes you fat.
So stay away.
Stay strong.
Think thin.
Be thin.
Get thinner.

I love her tiny waist. He's pretty thin, too. For a dude. But she... she's glamorous. 

Be her.

xo~Sar