Amateur hour

Uninspired

It's five in the eve
I sit here alone
demotivated,
deconstructing my decision
to bleed my soul out
by way of prose or poem
tonight at the mic.

I don't even care anymore
what I do or where I'm going...
It's easy to lie to everyone.
It's tempting to display
a face of fearlessness,
a fake path lit up -by light-
in front of me!

Day after day
nothing changes,
what remains is
the constant hurt...
What doesn't change
is my mindset,
the black hole where
my thoughts go to die.

A poem about love lost

forget it there's no going back
we can't go back
we won't be friends don't call me
not interested in what you gotta say
don't want to know what goes on now

run away from it all
that might actually work for you
too much here
too much keeps you here, your obligation
to me was scarce, so i
kept you at arm's length the whole time
and you'll never know

you'd blame, intimidate, manipulate, confuse
i could play that game--
way better than you don't forget it
give me the chance, i'd bounce
all over again, like a heartbeat
faster till we fall, no faith in that game
its a sad thing

now you're there and i'm better
doing things for me now,
barely standing up straight
somehow holding my chin up
it's impossible..
lucky for me
i refuse to cower

but something changed,
i ponder a solitary existence
so many stars
so many sides,
tell me who is real
oh not talking to him,
never again will i roll that die

Inspiration ?

My mind thunders a response
to an unspoken question
I must have accidentally asked..
This unwelcome interruption strikes
my silence and victimizes my voice.
Every fruitless attempt is a failure.
Let these influences destroy me,
sure, but I still have the
choice to overcome.
With effort, my mind
motivates my muscles to move
efficiently, and I tip-toe
carefully towards the end

A poem, inspired by: "I reached into a drawer"

the orb tucked secretly away
into the depths of a bottomless drawer- the horror i faced,
withdrawing into a shiny shell like an oyster
i pose still as night, slowly, carefully
my tentative hand, (braver than me) takes
the icy cold plunge into the dense deep.
i wrap my fingers finally around it, this undulating
sacred sphere of wondrous amazement.
sizzling bolts and jets and flashes
erupted in front of my face
who knew? my jovial drawer, such a simple
part of my surroundings.
Without hesitation because i know what to do, i do.
She strolled silently by and glanced in a passing window,
never expecting the sight to behold her emerald eyes:
a white bright light, a stranger takes flight
the distant moon is closer now; she is a star.