well hello

well hello

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Hey strangers

Hey strangers.

It's been two weeks. I am still hurting but it has lessened. We haven't spoke in a few days, thank God, because the talking and texting after the fact were delaying me moving the hell on. This morning I woke and he wasn't my first thought. That sounds like progress.

Speaking of progress, my weight is down again. Yay! Actually not yay because my clothes are too loose! I want to look good, not like a bag lady, and yet I have no patience to shop. Also no extra money.

So saggy bottoms it is, for now.

I just wanted to update. More later.


Sunday, April 14, 2013

Well J. and I broke up. I haven't had any appetite all weekend. Guess I'm going to be losing more weight. It's all bittersweet.

Tuesday, April 9, 2013


Today is my third day off work, I am sick as a dog. I have no health insurance, but I went to the Doctor and received a prescription for an antibiotic. It's time to take care of myself.

My bank account is dwindling but I won't give up. I just spent a ton of money on medicine, orange juice, kleenex, etc. And some new work shoes. I spend what I want when I want but realistically I need to save. Rent is not cheap. I can get through these tough times. A raise would help.

I love living on my own. My apartment is cute, but my forehead breakout is not. The stress of being sick lately has been a huge burden to bear and the physical effects (breaking out and not getting better after weeks) are enough to make me dream about death.

Things with J. go from being awesome to being so darn precarious. We both fight dirty. We are both still trying. I do love him, even if we haven't "said" it. I want to be with him forever but it will take work from us both. He helps me in so many ways, like bringing me a couch on Sunday. Or when he says "anything for you" and I think he means it.


I stopped at my parent's house (no one is home) to do some online bill paying. Figured I'd check in with you pretty people. Having the internet at my place is not out of reach, but it may not happen for another month (or two).

My weight is ok, perhaps not as low as last time. But still low. And clothes are baggy. I like being thin and will always strive to stay skinny. I just look better bony.

How are you? Anyone watch Mad Men? Is it warming up where you are? The weather has been COLD but we are slowly getting some Spring relief. Until next time...


Tuesday, April 2, 2013

I'm ok - still breathing, still smoking. Still seeing J.
Been binging like a bad girl though.
Wish I would stop self-sabotaging...