well hello

well hello

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Happy fuckin Valentine's day

I'm drinking. Jeff is just a fuck buddy so obviously we're not together tonight. Listening to Al Green. Texting this dude in the FBI who I went on one date with and he's about to be moving but he's so damn hott. I haven't wrote a word in months. My hands hurt too much for that. Everything hurts as you get older, I always heard that, and it's interesting to experience it.

To be honest I am hurting. Like usual when I dust off this ancient blog and vent a bit. I am changing everyday but also very much the same bitter bitch. My ex D. still lives in my head and it is a challenge to not listen to his menacing voice. In real life we haven't spoken in months. Kinda hard to grasp still.

Last month was the 2 year anniversary of my abortion. It was a tough month all around. This month is the 1 year anniversary of the first time D. violently attacked me. Superbowl weekend.

Predictably, me and Jeff fought that weekend. Guess I have a little ptsd. Which is not to say we fight often, we just are not on the same page regarding us. Well, we weren't but we are now. It is nothing it means nothing to him. It meant a lot to me but I was wrong.

Shocker! I am wrong a lot but hate to admit it.

I've been applying to jobs and interviewing. Nothing yet, but someday.

I booked myself a mini vacay. Leaving town in 3 weeks for Florida.
Beaches baby.