well hello

well hello

Sunday, July 9, 2017

Locked up

No clue what I wrote about last time I posted but a bunch of stuff went down. I am alive, but drinking and smoking so much. I have a problem. I was in a bad accident while intoxicated. Guys, I fucked up. Almost two months ago now and I am still in a state of despair. Not able to eat or breathe right. Sleeping too much but always tired. In therapy weekly and about to start group. At a new, full time job, trying to learn and get used to being around so many people, and office politics.

I am drowning. My depression has been a consistent tag along. I am low. But I have not given up. I have NOT given up. I will get up and go to work tomorrow. Driving my new car because my last was totalled in the car accident. I will work and then go to therapy. I will come home and eat something and get good sleep. I can do this, one day at a time.

Until I get through with court, and get my life back.

In the meantime, I have this present moment. Second by minute by hour I am existing. This day has lasted forever. I have to take deep breaths and stay strong. *Inhale*exhale*

I miss posting. Need to do this more.