well hello

well hello

Monday, September 16, 2013

Treading water

Do you remember the first time you binged?
I recently realized where I was in life when it started...living with my ex in the city, 6-7 years ago.
I've been punishing myself for almost a decade.

What will it take to stop?

Last night was awful...actually the entire day was a fail. Coffee cake, candy, fettucini alfredo, pizza...and orange juice, grapes, and a banana. I am sick. I am weak.

What's it going to take?

Here's to fresh starts...I haven't screwed today up yet...granted it's only 8AM.

Stay Strong.

Thursday, September 12, 2013

I called in "sick" today...AKA sick of work.

It's time to make a change.

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

27th year on earth

Tomorrow is my birthday. Actually in one and a half hours it is my birthday. I sit here alone, drinking a beer, at 10:30PM, waiting on my neighbor C. He is in a work meeting and and I'm ready to go out for a few and sing some karaoke!

How many times can I look at my phone? This is why I hate my birthday. Because I am sitting here waiting on someone to hang out with. I hate depending on people, I hate feeling vulnerable. I hate the fact that it's getting later by the minute and I'm still sitting here and I've got to wake mad early for work.

Yes, I'm working tomorrow though I am leaving early. Ugh, thank god for alcohol. My nerves are fucking shot.

In other news, this blog has started to nosedive. It's just not a priority for me to write lately (for like the past year). Writing used to calm me and inspire me. Now I don't even think of it. I don't bother basically because I don't believe in myself.

Pity party for one.
Well he just texted me,
looks like we're going.

Peace people. I love you all, even if I don't always love myself.