Good morning! It's Monday at *checks clock* noon, so "good morning" isn't accurate. Good afternoon! I am sitting in my apartment, at my desk, typing away at my laptop. The cat is in the window next to me. My coffee cup is ready for a refill. *gets up for a refill* Ok I am back. Does it seem like I'm procrastinating?
It's hard to admit, let alone share with others, but I got fired two weeks ago.
An hour later. Am I ready to face myself? Can I write about this? The cat has moved to a spot on the floor. The coffeemaker is empty and unplugged. Sipping on the last half a cup. Listening to "The Fear" by The Shins.
So, let me back up. I wasn't happy at my job. It started out well, but the last few months haven't been the best. I was frustrated by the review and miniscule raise I received. It was a big adjustment when we were forced back to the office full time after WFH with hardly any notice. The culture, atmosphere, and employee morale were insufferable. It was noisy and unorganized. I updated my resume and began plotting my escape. I wanted to move on, but I wanted to wait until I'd been there at least one year. I would fall two months short of that goal...
To paraphrase a long annoying story, I requested to continue working from home part of the time back in May when they made us give up our hybrid schedules. They were receptive but did not give me a firm answer. I went in everyday and did my job and paid for daily parking. Not paying for parking was such an awesome perk of working from home. One of many!
Three weeks later I followed up, and still had no yes or no, just a wishy-washy "we don't know yet". Meanwhile, coworkers across all levels were working from home and rumors were flying about preferential treatment.
Another week goes by and I decided to follow up with someone higher up. No answer, just more B.S. A week later, I emailed them early in the morning and said I wasn't feeling the best and planned to work from home. An hour into my workday they told me to take a sick day. Two days later they let me go for violating policy by working from home.
It's been a struggle. I knew I was technically playing with fire by declaring my day a work from home day. But after covid, and seeing coworkers working from home without issue, and never getting a solid answer to my request after nearly two months, and just all the day to day toxicity, all of that and more... overwhelmed me so I acted. I made a choice. So did they. Because not giving someone an answer is an answer in itself. I felt disrespected which made me care less.
There are more painful details, but I hesitate to get into it too deeply here. I cannot live in the past. I have felt shock, anger, hurt, confusion, relief, sadness, pain, uncertainty, a sense of loss, depression, anxiety, and a sense of getting what I wanted, just not in the way I wanted it.
I wanted to be out of there. I was looking for other jobs. And they fucking fired me.
Edit - it's been over an hour and I still haven't finished or published this post. I'm just not able to focus right now.
I'll be back.
