I am hungry but I am choosing not to eat. What power, what pleasure.
And so it goes...
I studied with T. tonight. I told him about this blog...I said he would never be able to find it. I didn't say anything concerning subject matter. Just casually mentioned that I had 15 followers(!!!!) on my online blog. Haha it's fun, because I truly don't believe he would ever be able to discover this. Wow, terrible of me to dangle this juicy secret over his waiting lips.
Yeah, so I like him. We were together for like 5 hours tonight. Just reading and writing and laughing and talking. And a little flirting. No physical touch. None! When we do, if, it will be e l e c t r i c !!!
I can wait. I need to keep losing. I do not want him to touch my fat self. I want him to touch my thin self. I want him to feel bone and I want him to know it's because I am trying.
I am struggling this semester...my grades are going to SUCK. Luckily I don't care about grades. Well...I do and I don't. I care more about knowledge retained. Almost done, almost done. Keep on truckin'. TRY!!! Stay Strong and Sexy. I love S-words. I love life right now. I am high off T. He is incredibly sweet and funny! He comes from a semi-normal family!
I recognize that different qualities in men mean different things. I don't care as much about looks these days. I stare past skin into souls. I see something refreshing in this guy.
And yet I still need to keep a distance. It is imperative that I do not rush into anything, and that includes feelings. I do not want to need.
No need.
~~~~~~
Have I mentioned that I adore every single person that reads this?
I know my words are a little crazy at times..but isn't life??
Peace/Love/Think thin.
<3
well hello
2 comments:
I'm glad you had fun with him :) and go with what makes you comfortable. There is definitely nothing wrong with taking things slow. I'm high right now and can barely form sentences so I hope my words don't sound stupid. I love you though and was so happy to find a new post :) I told my boyfriend about your blog. because i like it. and he likes that i like it. and i like him. wow. don't worry though J won't tell T about your blog
Wow, my first comment on the first blog I've read from you..
& I loved it!
It's morning here now, and my parents left breakfast on table. Reading your blog pushed me over the edge of not eating. Thanks!
And it's great you found someone you like, and who apparently likes you too.
Stay strong
x
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