D...well, REALLY long story short some insane shit went down a few weeks ago. He actually got physical with me. Scared the fuck outta me. Haven't seen him since. Told him I kissed another guy and he went apeshit, calling me a cheating whore, etc. We broke up a million times, I was loyal for fucking ever and he needs to understand that when your answer is to always dump someone after a fight eventually they're going to slip away. Disgusted with him and myself. Needless to say we are done for real and not speaking.
I'm trying my best to stay afloat. It's been a struggle. Just taking it a day at a time.
Today I'm off. It's 2:30 in the afternoon and I haven't done anything other than eat some chocolate chips and half a grapefruit and make coffee. Big plans to shower and go to the bank and store.
I want to join a class. Like yoga or dance. I am missing hobbies in my life. I have (for a year and a half) been perfectly obsessed with D. and his life and his friends and what he is doing and where he is going. I forgot about me. It's time to get Sar back. It's time to live my fucking life.
The concert with Matt is part of that. We haven't even talked or chilled in a year but a few weeks ago randomly met up and made these plans to see a show. It's something to look forward to.
Ugh, I can't focus. Haven't blogged or wrote in so long. It's hard to express myself right now. Got the coffee shakes and should probably mention that I'm stoned. Like always :-/
Love and Peace, xo