I hate eating.

Good morning....I came to my parent's house last night and promptly proceeded to binge. My GOD they just ALWAYS have sweets here...I had brownies and some ice cream with chocolate syrup, fuck!fuck!fuck! I also snacked on tortilla chips and hummus, 2 apples, yogurt....and that's ON TOP of the salad and cauliflower I had for dinner. Why can't I starve when I'm here? Let's think about it....home reminds me of being young. When I was young I could eat this shit without puffing out like a pigeon. I am no longer young, THEREFORE, I should NEVER eat the INSANE amount of junk food that tempts me as soon as I step foot in this door.

Jeez.

In other news, I did eventually finish those papers....they are suckish, but complete. I had an exam yesterday, I have one today, and one tomorrow, and then a take home exam. Lorddd I just want to be done. All in good time.

So. It's early and I need to drive back to college town to do SOME sort of studying for this exam...it's at 1:30 and yes, I am scared shitless because it's for philosophy, and we all know I SUCK at philosophy. I'd like to tell ya'll about something. But there really is no dang time right now. I despise spending my time in ways in which I do not control.

Do I feel fat today? Yes and no. It could be worse, oh yes, it could always be worse. But luckily I've been sort of starving the past few days, so I think last night's catastrophe left minimal damage. Hell, maybe it'll help push shit along, if you catch my drift.

Wow. I'm tired. I don't want to take this stupid exam. I want summer. It's not even warm out!

I want to be thinner.
Yesterday when I got here I weighed myself on my parent's scale. It is digital and it said 128. I do not trust it. I do not believe it to be accurate. So I will pretend I weigh 130 still and keep ON PUSHING to be thinner!!!

Think thin, all!!

Love ya <3


xo/Sar