The proof is in the pudding

Just binged for the 5th straight day. I am disgusting and feeling very fat. There's always a reason, right?

But nothing huge has even happened! I've just been stressed, anxious, and lovesick. NOT A GOOD ENOUGH REASON!...LIKE THERE EVER REALLY IS.

I am struggling struggling struggling .

I am trying like heck to not hate myself.

I need to STOP THIS and GET OVER IT and STOP FUCKING EATING!

(warning! food ahead)

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Tuesday, June 12:
chunks of watermelon, strawberries, bowl of 2 kinds of cereal with almond milk.
salad with small amount of mozzarella and italian dressing. banana. cereal bar.
macaroni and cheese with broccoli "stouffers" tv dinner. entire can of fat free refried beans mixed with shredded lettuce and spinach, mozzarella and cheddar cheese, salsa, hot sauce. served with tortilla chips.

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Isn't that a TON and WAY TOO MUCH for today? Thank God the day is done and I am so full my stomach hurts. I WILL NOT puke, not going there.

I need discipline and will power and strength to overcome these past few days.
I will do anything to lose this stomach fat.
I've probably put on 5 pounds since Friday and I WILL lose it! And then some!