Early to rise

Oh hey, I got a job. Finally, right? (It's only been two months, but that was two months too long of a time to not work). I'll be a teacher aide at a daycare/preschool about 30 minutes away. The salary is way less than I was making, plus no benefits for 3 months...either way this is GOOD, so YAY!

I'll be working mornings, e a r l y mornings haha, starting at 7AM. Fuck my life, I've worked nights for years. Today I woke at 8:30AM and currently feel like a zombie; I'm going for paperwork and fingerprinting. Wow. I can't even form a coherent sentence on this blog right now.

Tips on waking up early please my loves?! 

THINK THIN! I'm going to lose some weight on this job! I won't be sitting on my ass all day. I'll be moving around and chasing children, etc. I've decided that I would like to lose 5 pounds before Thanksgiving! The "healthy" way! ;)

More later!

XO

Sar

I have been floated

Oktoberfest party today...food and beer. Just what I need. I'm getting dressed up though, because there's gonna be boys there. And we all know how I'm desperately seeking the male gaze and approval. My weight is steady. My mind not so much. Our road trip last week went very well, we are now seeing each other (C. and I), however he struggles with both depression and addiction like moi. So are we good together? Or a terrible influence? Only time will tell.

I'm rereading The Bell Jar and wallowing in Sylvia's sadness. I'm unable to go a day without weed, my decade-long addiction has reached a new level and it frightens me. I legitimately feel like I cannot stop. Yes, my therapist is aware, and we're going to work on it. I'm proud of myself for sticking it out (talk therapy) for six straight (somewhat successful) months. I believe it's making a difference on my mood. I am still stagnant however, and long for growth, but am frozen by fear. I can be helped, I hope.

Take care and think thin, lovely people of the world.
XO
~Sar

Hey all, just checking in to say HI and that I'm going on a mini spur of the moment road trip with a guy "friend" tomorrow (C.)! Hope it goes well, we're going to spend the night at a hotel so maybe I'll get some action, hehe. I'll be sure to update soon. Hope you're all just peachy :)

Think thin!
XO
~Sar