Mi madre

It's 7:15PM on my mom's birthday and I couldn't give a damn. I worked today, it was busy as fuck. I had to leave early to get my dental crown fitting. (Had a root canal a few weeks ago). It took forever! It sucked! I hate the dentist! It took nearly 45 minutes to get home and then I had to finish a few things for work. I called her around 5:30PM. Her and my dad moved to AZ, not sure if I mentioned that. She didn't answer my call but texted me that they were getting food. Ok then. I was hoping to get the call out of the way so I could continue on with my night. But no, they're eating dinner at 2:30PM. *rolls eyes*

I said "Enjoy!" and prepared some dinner for myself. Roasted cauliflower, BBQ tofu. With water to drink. I haven't felt right today, minor cold symptoms and tired of the rat race. I bust my ass at work to a point of overwhelming stress. I neglect duties around the house so that I can sit around after work and surf the web. With lots of weed obv. 

To be fair, I've cut back a lot. I used to smoke way more. I still smoke daily, or have a gummy, but the quantity is less. I've also pretty much stopped drinking.

Where was I even going with this? I'm in a low mood, due to feeling a sense of dread about getting on the phone with my mom. I have documented quite a big in this blog about the emotional damage they've done. I just want to relax but feel on the edge that she'll be calling back any moment. My head is pounding again.

More later.

***

Update - 11:00PM. She never called back. Ignored by my mom on her birthday. I guess I wasn't the only one who didn't want to talk but it doesn't feel great. 

Guess I'm going to go to bed. Getting closer to the weekend and Spring.

xo