Birthday trip

It's my birthday eve! I'm all packed and ready to go. Less than two weeks ago I decided to plan myself a long weekend away to enjoy a solo birthday. I'm headed to the beach. Flight leaves in the AM, bright and early. 

I'm excited. I will be about two hours away from, and probably having dinner with T. When I booked this trip in the back of my mind I imagined telling him about it as a reason to see each other. A last ditch effort if you will. Well, it worked. That said, we've been talking for awhile. The correspondence never fully stopped. It ramped up again last week. We want to be friends. The circumstances under which we met were just too rare. He said he can't imagine me being near him and not getting together. I agree. I have no idea how it's going to go.

I'm not going to sleep with him. At least that is what I keep telling myself. I know that won't help anything. The offer is on the table, of course. We both acknowledged attraction exists. But I need more than that. Sex gets me attached. Not worth it when he lives so far away. Even if it is somewhere I like to go. 

But enough about him. I'm going to my happy place. It is somewhere I've visited 5x already. When I booked it, part of the draw was the familiarity. I longed for comfort. 

Few more hours.

It feels good to take a break from reality. Get on a jet and enjoy the beautiful views. Land somewhere completely different than here. Step back from the daily grind a bit. Embrace the feeling of freedom..

Good night all.