well hello

well hello

Wednesday, May 6, 2009


I slept so much, it was not restful sleep though, I tossed and turned and got up to pee many times. I have been exhausted all day. Right now I have a scratchy, sore throat and a very runny nose that has recently turned completely stuffed up and it's impossible to breathe or smell anything or taste anything. And I am listening to "Badge" by Eric Clapton, what a song, I only wish it went on for about ten more minutes, maybe more. I am shaky, I can't catch my breath, I am nervous, I am tense, I am excited, I am stressed, I am anxious. I am a mess. I need school to be over as soon as possible. But I need to get some assignments turned in for a little peace of mind. My fingers hurt.

Deep breath.

A switch of song, a switch of mood and melody. I do like to write. Sometimes being the left out operative word here. I am so good at distracting myself, I can really do that for hours and hours. Left to my own devices I can accomplish barely anything, but I can read online and find out information that I need to know that way.

I am here. Free write time:

blah blah blah bladdity blah I am Sarah. I can't do this I can't free write at this moment my mind is too foggy and my words are tumbling out and they are invisible and I can't even grab them or form a coherent sentence all I can do is think, daydream, imagine, recreate scenes in my head and what I should have could have done or said or how I should have acted.

I need it I need help I need to be stress free I need summer I need sun and warmth and family and love and friends and a hug I need a hug so bad.

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