well hello

well hello

Monday, February 4, 2013

Don't kill yourself

Another day, another death to find out about. The more people you know, the more loss you'll feel, the more sorrow. Another wake on Thursday and I need to be there, and my brother, and my friends...to celebrate the life of someone who commit suicide.

I say on here a lot of things. I say I hate life. I say I wish I was dead. I am reckless with drinking and drugs and driving. Sometimes I want to hurt myself or someone else.

But when it comes down to it...when shit really hits the fan, I know that I could never do it. I wouldn't want to. I fear death.

Rest in Peace Marty. What the fuck (as my eyes tear up again). WHY? A gunshot to the face at a party in front of people? I am mad and sad and horrified. I ache, especially for those closest to him.


I binged on Sunday. I ate 2500 calories, haven't done that in ages. I've been averaging like 800 a day. But I woke yesterday in self destruct mode. I felt like crap, physically and mentally about it. Today was a fresh start though. I've ate healthily. No ice cream. No pizza. Yes, on Sunday I had both.

Don't get it twisted, I am determined to finish what I started here. I am going to continue to lose weight. I am going to continue working out, burning those calories at the gym and in the bedroom. ;-)

Tomorrow I am going to look at an apartment in the city (!). J. is coming with. Hope I like it. Because I want out.

Think thin loves.
Live life!


Miranda said...

Sorry to hear about your friend. That is just awful for someone to be so sad to do such a thing.

ruby-tuesday said...

So sorry to read this
I hope your friend is at peace now x