well hello

well hello

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

The seventeenth

I'm the thinnest I've been in awhile. I don't know if it's the love, sex, or all the fighting. My appetite has changed. I no longer feel the need to binge, ever. Even on those rare occasions (period, bad feelings, drunk, etc) I've been able to hold back. It's a good thing.

I haven't weighed myself in ages. I have no clue how much I've lost but I'll say almost ten pounds.

Today: three peanut butter crackers. coffee. water.

My face is starting to look thinner and more defined. My boyfriend plays with my bones. Last night at the concert he was tap tap tapping on my hipbones while standing behind me and swaying to the music.

I have not confided in him about my ednos. If the opportunity comes up I may. However, as I mentioned briefly, we have been fighting. It's mostly me and the fucking ptsd/depression, pushing him away, saying stupid shit and regretting it instantly, etc. But he definitely throws it back.

I hope we can work it out.

Winter is coming, normally a time of eating and being lazy and gaining weight. Not this year. Not ever.

Peace, loves.

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