My cat knocked a full glass of ice water on my laptop and it's been dead ever since. Typing this at work.
I miss blogging. I have had such a busy summer and my coping skills still suck. I feel that I've put on five or six pounds and look disgusting. Things with D. are still off and on. Our one year "anniversary" was last week. He choked me lightly during sex the other day. I sometimes long to die. I keep waiting for him to save me.
I need a new laptop, to renew my license (my birthday is this week), to go clothes shopping, to clean and organize my life, to stop smoking cigarettes and weed. I need everything good for me right now but I'm treating myself like shit.
I hate myself too much. I am starting to hate my job. I don't know what to do. I am about to be 29 years old and it almost feels like I'm regressing back into a child. I can't handle any criticism. I have lost touch with important friends. I have lost my spirituality.
Help me Sarah, you're the only one who can.
Until next time...