well hello

well hello

Saturday, March 26, 2016


A couple days later and I think I'm doing better. It's Saturday afternoon, how can you not be grand? Granted, I'm in my pajamas. There is a packed bowl next to my coffee mug. I have been VERY lazy so far this weekend. I've been drinking a lot. But I think I'm doing better.

Not hearing from him at all helps. This has been the longest break up in the history of break ups. We broke up so many times and it never lasted but the past few months it's been lasting longer and longer and now we're separated for real.

I've been slowly changing my mindset to that of a single gal. I am single. 29 and fucking single. But it's ok. There are other men out there, men that will appreciate my quirks and respect my experiences and love me for me.

D. has hated me for awhile. I did a lot of bad stuff. I'm not going to say I deserve to be hated though. It takes two in order for a relationship to be successful, two people making an effort. I feel like a lot of my bs was reactions to his bs. We bounced our darkest parts off each other. We fell into a sick sad pattern and were unable to free ourselves so we had to split. There was never any other fate for us.

I gotta stop thinking about him.

I gotta start rediscovering myself, to find Sar again. Whoever she is.

Love, XO

Thanks for reading Bella
 * hugs*<3 p="">

1 comment:

Aye Ell said...

Break ups are awful. I hope you can find the positives in being single. I think it's easier to be in a relationship once you're content being single, at least that's what I found. You can't count on some one else to make you happy. It sounds like it's easy for me to say because I have been married for five years, but really, the primary reason our marriage is successful is that we were both content with ourselves before being married and we don't rely on each other for our happiness. Because even though we both love each other, we both also screw up and let each other down all the time, because we are human. You and whoever you're with will also do the same. I don't mean to preach or lecture, I just want to see you happy, which is never an easy road.