Yesterday,

I have been sleeping so much, trying to sleep the days away so I eat less. At this point I am well rested but very groggy, and I really don't know what to do with myself, at least I can't force myself to do anything that matters. Sounds confusing, so I'll stick to what really matters. Yesterday's calorie count. I was laying in bed going over what I ate before I feel asleep. It was a lot. Now I am awake with my water and here goes!

I waited till about 6 pm before I started eating, which was good. I was definitely hungry, but disgusted by my overall binging of the past week. I went to walmart because I had a free Kashi frozen meal coupon. I chose the Mayan Harvest Bake (vegan). It was delicious at 340 calories. A smart, good girl would have purchased that meal and walked out, but I of course spotted fritos and thought about my salsa. They weren't even the scoops, which sucked. My friend that came with me stopped at Subway, and the temptation and the smells in there almost killed me, so I bought a chocolate m&m cookie (100). Stupid of me, it wasn't even good. I would have much rather had pb. But my "chocolate attacks" are long winded and intense.

So after I ate my frozen meal, I scarfed down the entire $ .99 bag of fritos at 560 total calories/bag. (160 cal x 3.5 servings). Shit. Plus salsa (30 cal). It unfortunately did not stop there. I grabbed an oats and chocolate fiber one bar (140 cal) and that is when I began craving chocolate hardcore. I didn't even get dressed. I walked up the street in my pajamas to a tiny gas station, luckily there was a guy working. I thought I had $3, turns out I only had $2 thank God. So I walked out of there with a box of junior caramels (570 cal/box). Fuck. As I write this, the totals are creeping me out. My grand intake for the day is : 1740 calories.

Not horrible. But still disgusting. I have had wayyyy worse days. And so today has started, I have an empty stomach, and I plan to keep it that way until after work. <3 and peace.