Stubborn Love

"It's better to feel pain,
than nothing at all...
the opposite of love
is indifference."
--The Lumineers

***

You know what this means, right? Things with J. are back to being completely precarious. So. Predictable. Of. Us.

I'm annoyed because all I want to do is push back the feelings for him that I have, but I'm equally annoyed of my desire to detach.

I am a barrel of fun these past two days, contemplative and easily angered. My temper coexists within my mind, not always peacefully.

***

Either way, I'm going to see him tonight, for the third new years eve in a row. We are not back together. We (probably) won't kiss at the strike of midnight. We will (hopefully) make it through the evening with no drama. We have to. I am through with 2012's troubles and moving on with life, even though this particular guy is clearly sticking around for awhile. There's just no fighting it. *sighs*

I'm procrastinating hardcore (gee Sar, I couldn't tell...six posts in two days?). I want to start 2013 off nice and organized. My paper pile/bills/boring shit like that is taking over a corner of my bedroom and I will attack it after I press Publish. I promise!

Cheers!
~S