well hello

well hello

Thursday, October 6, 2011

This is the Title

Happy October! (I know I'm a little late). This is probably my favorite month of the year because I love Halloween! Anyone already have their costume planned? I do! I plan to be "Mia" from Pulp Fiction (before the overdose)! I just love wigs!

A lot is going on in the world! You've all heard of the Wall Street Protests, I'm sure? I SUPPORT THEM! This country is fucked up...We could use a little change! Starting with the banishment of corporate monetary influence on politics! I will definitely be accompanying my "local Occupy Movement" and I suggest you do the same.

But I'm not here to preach to you. I'm doing my usual smoke and coffee before work. I'm also cleaning my room and washing my sheets because tonight my sister is flying in (and taking over my room)! Lucky me is vanquished to the tiny upstairs bedroom. Oh well, I'm looking at it like a little vacation. It's good for me to change up my routine a bit.

Just took a second to quickly pay a bill. I would complain about it, normally. However I'm actually making money. Not tons but enough to pay my bills. Unrelated but does anyone remember that Destiny's Child song: "Bills, bills, bills"? I think I still know all the words!

I am feeling somewhat positive today. Here's why: I am excited to see my sis. I am happy that I was able to save enough vacation time at work to take tomorrow completely off. And still get paid for it. Just eight hours to weekend freedom! I am getting used to my recently dyed hair...also some of the color faded a tiny bit, revealing auburn undertones. There is a new(ish) cute guy at work who I sometimes check out and it makes work more fun. Just slightly so but still.

As for my weight, well, it's definitely fluctuating. The other day I stepped on the scale and saw a very high number. I panicked, and proceeded to stuff my face. You'd think my reaction would be the opposite. Since then I've been eating less and smoking cigarettes again and the number is creeping back down. It's sad that smoking really does replace food and keep my weight on the decreasing side of the spectrum. Such is life, I suppose.

My brain and deep consciousness are constantly engaged,
I'm figuring shit out, and
reflecting, ruminating.
I'm thinking thinking thinking.
Planning not so much.
Baby steps, right?

I'm bummed to admit that moving out and living on my own means more to me than going back to school for my Master's degree.

This is huge.

But maybe...it's not that big.

Maybe it's just me, I'M ME.

Nobody else can make up my mind, nothing else can defer my dreams. And I long to feel like a responsible adult keeping up an apartment like a champ. I'm thinking January. A fresh start for a new year.

Time to finish cleaning and then get ready for work. I haven't ate yet, maybe I won't. Have I mentioned my fat thighs lately? It seems like fat collects there more than anywhere on my body. Why is this??

Think thin, lovely readers. Thanks for being here. Peace on Earth.





Charl said...

Beeeautiful peace thinspo (: I don't live in america, but I see where you're coming from with the wall street protests, it does look like America's a bit of a mess, xx

Emily said...

We are most certainly fucked here in the US. Its really awesome to see the little people standing up to the big money. The voice is growing louder...love it.

Its understandable, the desire to live on your own. Independence is freedom. Freedom to do what you want. Freedom to eat (or not eat) what you wish. I hope you find your freedom soon!