On second thought, I need to get the fuck out. Living here is making me crazy. My brother's girlfriend is over all the time, sleeping over, etc. They cook together. She's nice, but it's all too "in my face", reminding me that I'm so pathetically, desperately, single.
Also, my Dad is an asshole depending on his mood. Today, he talked down to me and laughed with contempt in front of the lovebirds. I had just woken up, didn't even have a sip of coffee at that point. Which was probably good, because had I been more awake, I would have snapped back - leading to an altercation. Glad you're feeling better Dad, but don't be a dick.
And my Mom? Well...she's a lunatic. She has her moments when she's nice. Mostly she's impossible to talk to and it's nauseating to watch her "baby" and enable my brother.
I need to get out. Fuck the music festival. Fuck going to see my sis. I need to move the fuck out as soon as possible. It's what I really want. I don't need to be totally selfish this summer, I just need to practice preservation of the self. That involves me doing what's best for everyone. Once I move out my family will maybe find some peace. I'm 25. It's time to get on with life. This has been an...interesting year and a half at home since graduating college. It's time to spread my wings.
If only I could FIND a damn apartment! You wouldn't think it'd be so hard, but it is, considering I have a pet. Also, it's just me, and 1 bedrooms seem to be the exception and not the rule. I won't give up though!
I'll never give up.
I'm feeling thinner today. I've been restricting hardcore. My period bloat always freaks me out and throws me off. I must remember that it's water weight on the scale but that doesn't seem to assuage my panic. Being thin is everything in this superficial world. That'd be a decent title for this post. Done!
Think thin thoughts.
Don't eat dessert...ever.