well hello

well hello

April 19, 2014

Covet

I am mourning an invisible person's death, I am lacking insight and clarity and I have questions!! THIS is why they warn against one night stands. Maybe it's better that he doesn't live here. If he did, I would feel even more compelled to hang out. This is a new feeling...or is it? Have I been here before, same fruit - different color? I'm not making any sense. I am caffeinated and pmsing and not happy. I hate feeling like this. Feelings are not my friend today.

I miss Z. Isn't that stupid? I miss him but I don't even know him. I don't have any clue what his life is like or if he's still fooling around on the road with others, and I can't even ask him. I can't do anything but be grateful for the experience.

We have "kept in touch". A smattering of texts. I don't know if it's helping or hurting me.

My period is due to start today. I have the signs and symptoms so FINGERS CROSSED it comes. Because if it doesn't...well, that's not something I can deal with right now.

How do I move on from this? What is the proper course of action? I can't forget him, I won't. But I can't just put my life on hold under the HOPE that MAYBE someday things could change. Too risky? Inherent wishful thinking?

I suppose the solution is to do nothing. Take it as it comes. As Ellie G. would say, "lovers hold on to everything".

Enough.

It's the weekend. I've been on spring break this whole week. The sun is shining out my window so I'm going to go for another walk today. I've been good about my walks, at least. Gotta tone up for summer.

I've been job searching like crazy! Also considering an out of state move.

I have no idea where to start with that though. According to my parents, you need lots of money (and a job) to move out of state. I do not have either. Have any of you ever moved out of state? How did you do it? Looking for any advice on this, please and thank you!

Well guys...have a happy easter weekend. Take care :-D
Xo
Sar


1 comment:

Aye Ell said...

I've moved to a few different states and I will say, yes, it is expensive. There is gas and other direct moving expenses (like, do you need to rent a trailer or pay for another person's gas or anything), registering your car in a new state (and inspection if it's a state that has that), rent & utilities that usually come with a new place (like first month, last month, deposit, etc) and tons of other little things that sneak up on you. Will you need a new car insurance carrier, or are you covered nationally? If you get a new job, is the minimum/average wage different? What does the cost of living look like in the new area you want to move to? I've moved within state quite a few times as well and I will say, moving to a new state is always more expensive. My advice, is look into the costs first so they don't sneak up on you, and save up as much as you can beforehand.