Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Summer I need you.
This blah day is dark, cold, rainy, and miserable. I have accomplished nothing. I am a lazy fat fuck. I have wasted 5 straight hours doing nothing but napping, which ended bad because of a horrific and vivid nightmare; surfing the internet for nothing in particular, and this includes face booking like crazy; and stuffing my face with disgusting, fattening, greasy, fried food: I had 4 mozzarella sticks dipped in marinara sauce and a large (unsalted) soft pretzel dipped in artificial orange cheese for dinner. What a waste of life and space and time. Ugh. I hate me. I wish, what? That I could go back in time to 5 pm when I got out of my last class? No, not really. Because it was already dark then. And I wanted to do nothing but go to sleep. I have been stressing hardcore about the three papers I have to write this week. I stress and stress and do nothing about it, just think and cause myself breakouts, anxiety, and misery. Not to mention the clear and obvious weight gain. Wow I feel so sick. SO sick. I wish I could just puke everything I ate today up. I wish I could move away to somewhere warm and tropical and without worry and snow. I wish I wish. I wish. I am tired but wired. I am sick and sad. I am bored and restless. Music is not helping. I need help.