What a week. After a breakthrough meeting with my therapist on Wednesday, I decided to call in to work and take a spur of the moment trip to College Town. My intention was to get closure. I ended up having a really nice day though. A "mental-health day" if you will. I returned to work yesterday and today is Friday and tomorrow is my friend's wedding.
As I'm sure some of you might have guessed, I'm having second thoughts about my plan that I wrote about previously. I am not sure Nursing is for me. If my only reason for going into it is for money then what kind of person does that make me? An uncaring, cold, bitch who doesn't care about the patients. No thanks. I'm trying to be a nicer, warmer, kinder, friend to people.
So now I'm thinking Graduate School for School Counseling. There is a program at a local, private college that is within reasonable driving distance and it seems like I could get into it. The prerequisites are accomplished; I have the B.A. in English, I have the desire to help people. Working with kids would be great. It's like going back to my roots, my very first year of college (6, almost 7, years ago, omg I'm old) was under the childhood education major. I switched because I was young and scared. I'm still scared, but I'm not young and naive. I have taken some time to figure out the way I work best and what my interests are. I think this might be it.
Spring of 2012 is when I will attempt to start. I will be getting some information in the mail soon. This could be right. I'm just trying to do the RIGHT freaking THING.
For ME and only me.
I just a took a quick break from blogging and lifted weights. That was random. Or did I mention that I'm smoking?
Before work, yes I know. I'm bad. I'm naughty. I'm a rebel.
I wouldn't have it any other way.
OH. The wedding tomorrow. Yeah, I'll take a minute here to discuss that. It's a decently good friend of mine, her wedding party includes my best friend and two other close friends. Not me, though. Nope, no bridesmaid dress for Sar. For awhile I was hurt and worried I'd be cast off, out of the group and out into sea, like it matters, I've always been a loner. But my feelings changed and I realized that all I need to do is continue being MYSELF, the Sar that some people know and "love".
So a few months ago I bought a dress down in Atlanta and my mom is going to pin it so it's slightly more tapered around the waist (gotta look good if I'm going stag). I might get new shoes, might not. I'll paint my nails black, all of them. No, that's not weird!!! The black of my nails will balance out the white dress "purity" of the day. It will look awesome. My dress is a shimmery goldish lavender so the black will look nice against it.
I'm a little excited but sad at the same time. No more single K. (friend that's getting hitched). We are all growing up. It's scary. I'm definitely happy for her and her fiance. They are great together.
Maybe someday I'll be planning my wedding.
A girl can dream, can't she?