well hello

well hello

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Some answers

  Did you see Stick Thin's post, nominating me for the "Liebster Award". Thanks doll, I like awards. Without further ado, here are her questions and my answers:

Favorite TV show: Mad Men.

Childhood secret: Used to spy on my family, ie. listened in phone calls, sat outside my older sister's door when she had friends over.

What kind of make up do you wear? Physicians Formula cover up and blush, Great Lash mascara, black or brown eyeliner, chapstick/lipstick.

Have you ever colored your hair? Many, many times.

What countries have you visited? U.S. (where I live) and Canada.

What is your dream job? Editor.

How long have you been blogging? A long time, since early 2008.

Do you have a pet? If you could what would it be? Yes, one cat - Merlin.

Whats your guilty pleasure food? Ugh food question...it's pizza, of course. Specifically plain cheese or veggie toppings.

What is your favorite workout? Dancing.

Are you in a relationship? Nope, and I like it that way..


Well that was fun. In other news, it is Wednesday, almost 3PM, and I'm just waking up, just drinking my coffee...I feel lazy as shit. I feel unmotivated. I don't work until Saturday unless they call me in so I am being a huge bum. 

Last night I spent a long while reading some of my old posts from 2008-2009. God, was I depressed. I don't know how I made it through college. I was definitely trying to kill myself, slowly, from the inside out. Or maybe from the outside in.

But that is history, MY history. It is not perfect, or beautiful...and neither am I. Thankfully I persevered, and I'm damn glad about it. I accomplished my degree and I should feel proud of myself for not giving up when I so clearly wanted to. I told my mom yesterday that I'm sick of being so hard on myself.

Am I though? Someone needs to be, if not me. I've been talking to my ex-boyfriend B. He is so honest with me, he knows me, he knew me way back in the day, the depressed day. He didn't give up on me when I was acting like a fucking train wreck, and because of that, we are friends, four years later. We just get together and smoke sometimes, and text and talk.

Also, we might start sleeping together. I know. But do you guys know how long it's been? A LONG FUCKING TIME. Speaking of which, I finally got my period. Yay/groan.

And speaking of ex-boyfriends, remember that post last week when I said I'd be seeing three of them in one night? Well...it went ok. T. and I said hello and then he basically ignored me because his girl was there. 

You should have saw me that night, you guys...I looked awesome. Seriously a cute outfit and my hair was behaving. T.'s girlfriend was apparently "threatened" by my good looks and "our history" so she screamed some obscenities at me as I left. Awkward. 

Other than that, the night was uneventful. J. was being his usual dopey self, but he did buy me a drink. I spent most of the night dancing, on stage and off, and playing limbo with the band. Good times. 

Seeing T. was actually kind of painful. Especially because his girlfriend is so damn insecure. They've been dating since we broke up, over two years (!), you would think she'd be cool with him saying hello to an old college "friend". But no. Needless to say I've felt a little bad about the whole situation but not really... 

He did text me later apologizing for her behavior but I feel very removed from it all. That night slammed the door between T. and I closed for good. Next time they get in a fight and he sexts me I will just delete it right away. He is honestly pathetic and it feels good to be over it all.

This is getting to be a very long post. I should stop here. But I am so fucking caffeinated, can you tell? I am all over the place. This is why I should update regularly, so it doesn't all come out in a flurry.

Things to do today: clean the litter, laundry, buy some stuff from the drugstore, take back cans and bottles, get gas, get an oil change...an ambitious list. I'll be happy to do at least half of it.

Thanks as always for reading. This blog is truly the best most honest outlet I have. I'm thinking a fast for the rest of the day. I'm sick of eating. It's so disgusting. My Lose it app is very eye-opening. I haven't weighed myself in a few days but I will as soon as my period ends. Here's hoping I'm down another pound or three. Also, coffee empties me out like nothing else, I'm sorry but it had to be said. Think thin. Peace,

XO ~ Sar

1 comment:

Miranda said...

i wish coffee emptied me out. my fav food is pizza too! Love it way too much. 'Aint it fun when you feel hot? Hoping for that this Fri. I'm really hard on myself too.