Tuesday, January 6, 2009
I am depressed beyond belief. It is an unexplainable feeling; a hardened tumor plunged in the depths of my stomach; my lungs, arms, shoulders, head, mouth ache without relief, without reason. I try to cry, I cannot. The tears tentatively show their glistening selves on the rims of my eyes. What comes next? How do I cry? The sob will not rise up. It stays where it chooses, I have no control where or when it will come. Maybe at the next drink or sad show. My body betrays me. My mind is an unstoppable freight, barreling down uneven and jagged tracks towards hell.