On Friday I got ridiculously wasted and flipped out over a comment that may or may not have been what I thought it was. I started punching and kicking my boyfriend and eventually got kicked out of the bar. I am happy to report that I removed myself, no bouncer needed. That is, until I got outside...I was being pulled in all sorts of directions. I was screaming and flailing arms and cursing and basically making a damn fool of myself. In front of everyone at the bar, in front of friends, in front of my boyfriend who is a goddamn saint. He drove me home (drunk) and sat and talked with me and calmed me down after I hysterically cried and yelled and hit his dashboard and car door and everything else my hands could reach. I believe I started smashing my head against the dash as well. I remember yelling, gasping, crying for him to just kill me, or for him to help me kill myself.
I am sick over this. My head ached all weekend, and my insides burned. My heart probably would have stopped beating if it had any choice, given the hell I was putting my body through...
Disgusting, yes I am. Nice job freako. Thankfully he is an angel, he did not beat me back, he did not break up with me. Thank you thank you thank you. I need you babe. So much. I'm sorry.
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