well hello

well hello

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Do you know?

I don't know how I got to be such a worrier. I talk to my sister and hear her married baby voice, and hear her husbands hostility, and my heart feels squeezed, like squishing a sponge to make a waterfall in the sink.
I hear news of my brother. Not eating. His disease morphing his mind so much he makes himself sick on the thought of getting sick, a daily occurrence.
My mother. My father. My younger brother. My friends. Random people at work. This empathy has taken over my solitary thoughts. Think of yourself for once. Oh, can't do that. When my eyes turn inward, they see a bitter and numb bottomless, black, heart burning pit.
I wrench my eyes out and my stomach sails away. I am lost, burning.

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