Every single day that I've been home -
Mom: What did you eat today?
Me (making something up): Blah!
My Dad has been on this diet and lost ten pounds. He is still very much overweight. He won't eat vegetables or fruit or whole grains. He drinks diet soda and scarfs down chips like he'll never eat one again. So they've been experimenting with "healthy meals", while I stand back and watch from afar, trying like hell not to showcase my knowledge of food, calories, and dieting too much. I think my Mom suspects something. I've taken to covering my collar bones with high-cut shirts. Whatever, I've been way thinner (when I was a teen) so bug off.
There are food issues aplenty in my family and today I started to hate each and every one of them for influencing me into this disordered piece of shit.
In other news, I'm thin today. Again. I have been restricting very successfully and I am about to get my period and there is minimal bloat due to me being smart around carbs. I will get thinner. I will NOT have a tummy roll when I sit down.
Today I wore tight-fitting dark blue jeans and a fitted red cardigan, buttoned all the way up. Earrings. Boots. White coat. I went to this guy's (who happens to be a long-ago ex) apartment because he was helping me find buds. We have a somewhat close relationship and occasionally get a little touchy-feely. His name starts with J. too, of course. I don't want to get confused with all the J.'s I talk about so we'll just refer to him as long-ago ex. He's hott. With a kid though. (Not the other, crazier one with a kid).
Long story short; I was sitting on the couch and he was sitting by my legs and goes, "do you still have your belly button pierced?" and started to lift my freakin shirt. While sitting! You know??
I squirmed but didn't push his hand away and either nodded yes or murmured hmm or something sexy, I don't remember. All I remember is looking down...and seeing...the roll that sank a million ships.
I want to be thinner. I want no stomach roll. NONE. NO FAT on me!!!!!!!
Calories today totaled maybe 900. If I keep this up the pounds will continue coming off. I'd guess that I lost at least two pounds since being home.
Think thin, lovelies.