well hello

well hello

Monday, May 23, 2011

Extra delight

I'm intensely emotional these days. I start crying in conversation...my eyes tear up randomly and I choke back a sob. It does hurt, and I understand that I've had a rough few months. This whole not-having-a-job thing is killing me. I've been rejected by some guys and asked out by others. Dating is not my friend, and I'm failing miserably with men right now.

I go from being completely narcissistic and cocky about my looks with a side of pride to misery in minutes. I tell myself that I hate me. I call myself horrible names in my head, really really mean nasty insults are flung like darts at me. From me.

I puked two days last week and my stomach has been burning ever since. Today it finally dissipated a tiny bit. Thankfully, because it hurt like a mother and I couldn't stop embracing my inner hypochondriac. Ulcers, hemorrhaging; you name it, I thought it was going on.

Memorial Day this weekend and everyone will be partying...but my best friend is taking a trip with her mom and I don't really have plans, which sucks. We're supposedly having a little cookout here with some family. Bring on the questions like, "are you working? where have you applied? are you sending thank you cards after interviews?" ETC.

At least there will be wine.

Wine = Calories

So we'll see how it goes.

Think thin**

**Xo Sar

ps. Does anyone else chew Extra Dessert Delights gum?? I <3 it.

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