well hello

well hello

Wednesday, October 21, 2009


What the fuck have I done?? I was doing just fine eating today, until about 30 minutes ago, when I was leaving campus. I was IN MY CAR leaving! But my fat ass said "I want food!" So I pulled over next to one of the buildings and went inside to the vending machine and panicked because I heard some guy come behind me. I quickly punched the button without even looking at the price and walked out of there with a HUGE garlic white "french bread" pizza...it was HUGE! What happened to not eating anything bigger than my hand???/ I should have just stuck with the freakin' muffin I saw in there...anything! would have been better than a huge slab of white bread (no nutritional value to speak of) slathered with cheese and garlic. I came home, microwaved it along with some red sauce, and ate the whole thing in about 5 minutes. Wow. I am so gross. Now my stomach feels bloated and disgusting and I am basically freakin the fuck out right now.

All I want to do is purge. Oh my god I can't though. I want to. But I can't even go there. I haven't in soo long. I can't I can't I can't. But I want to. Shit!

What can I do??

What the hell happened to my control?

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