I feel skinny today. Somewhat. I have been doing okay with the restriction. I caved and bought ice cream the other night though. I just craved chocolate and peanut butter coldness on my tongue. It satisfied. I still have some in the freezer. A 1/2 cup serving is 160 calories. I usually eat 2-3 servings. So you can figure out that mess. It's a lot, it adds up, but for some reason I don't seem to be gaining. I just let myself starve so long most days. It's weird. I really like it though, in this nutty, love/hate kind of way.
I hate myself though, for sure. I hate me with this odd detachment. I don't give a shit what I do. I'll be dead someday or the other. Hopefully not today. I just gotta live.
I have terrible grammar today. My face feels real greasy, I can't wait to shower and just go shop for awhile, and drive, and all that other good stuff. I'm basically out of smoke and my guy Tom is throwing me a fucking bone. He now only sells 1 g for twenty, which is a fucking ripoff. So looks like I'm cutting back, wayyy back, until someone else surfaces.
Whatever, I'm sure I'll have to quit pretty soon anyway. I've got to start applying for jobs. Ugh, the thought is like this looming spaceship over my senses. I don't want to grow up, I want to be a college kid forever. No, that's not true at all. It's just not.
So, here's some shit. The new coat I just got? The very-adult, trendy, winter jacket? The first day I wore it [to school] (yesterday) and guess what I did, I ashed on it. There's a hole now. LOL right? Go figure? It's a sign to stop smoking? (YES) Idk. I was so, so, mad at myself, because I didn't realize it until I was at a stop light, and I saw some ashes, brushed them off, saw the hole, doomed myself to hell.
I'm a smart one.
Luckily it's down near the bottom, and kind of covered by a part, but you know! Wtf! I may get it fixed.
I need to shower, I'm so gross.
Take care, ya'll. I'll be out spending some money, getting our economy going. I suggest you do the same. You only live once, so make yours a thin existence.
Think thin, like these lovelies:
The girl in the middle looks the best. The girl on the left is second best or maybe even equally thin.
[The one on the right has chubby arms.
Don't have chubby arms, people.]