well hello

well hello

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Really?

Life is a roller coaster and I can't stay in the seat. I am sick today, sick in the head. My emotions are shit and a real pattern has developed. A guy hangs out with me for awhile, "gets to know me", and then calls me out on everything. I fucking hate it.

It just happened with J.
LOL right? No surprises there? Things have been detrimental from the start, and today was the finale. I am trying like hell to get over it. It just really irks me that people out in the world hate me enough to tell J. that I "get psycho". Um. WHAT? THE? FUCK?

Fuck all of you. I hate you. What the hell did I do to you besides exist???

It makes no sense. And we got in a text fight and he brought that up and it totally threw me off. Like, really? How immature CAN YOU BE?

I'm pissed, people. Fucking pissed the fuck off and I want to fight. J. and I are nowhere, nothing. It's disappointing considering he stayed over until 4:30 AM the other night. No sex, just lots of talking and laughing.

Screw it, I'm not going to waste time reminiscing. I hate that this happened and I don't really understand but I am LETTING IT BE. 
For realz.

Eating has been fine lately, nothing major to discuss. Having horrible cramps always makes it harder to eat.

I am sitting in my bathrobe at 3:30 in the afternoon. Our text fight went on for hours. It seems to be done now. He is actually pretty messed up, psychologically.

I've got to get to the pharmacy before it closes. Peace

Oh, and think thin -
I'm starving today as punishment for being a blind idiot -

xo~Sar

5 comments:

BellaAna said...

:( im so sorry that today is kinda shit. but starving always makes me feel better hope it works for you too

xoxo

Stick Thin said...

Why is it even their business? That is uber lame. I'm sorry Sar.

Camille said...

I'm sorry this happened to you... J seems like a jerk for this. Stay strong, love. You got this.

Honor Regzig said...

Aww I'm sorry hun. That is very shitty. Many years ago after a bad breakup I found a book titled Maybe he's just a jerk.
So often women blame ourselves when a guy acts shitty, as if we can control his behavior. Maybe he's just a jerk. This J sure sounds like a jerk.
And those "friends" just had to interfere ....with "friends" like that who needs enemies?

Many internet hugs to you.

Kristina said...

Sorry today is so crap.

Hugs. Tomorrow will be better for you I hope. xxxx