Things change, my friends.
Tonight I worked. With J. He started grilling me about everything that has "happened" over the past couple days in front of a fellow employee who was coming to relieve me, and it turned into an eye-opening conversation in the back room before I left. He opened up to me. He said that he was trying to push me away, because in the past he has been pushed away. Yeah, yeah, everyone has their shitty past, but what was he really trying to tell me? I can only guess, and my guess is that we are mutual in our adoration.
Don't judge me, you didn't see his vulnerability. He is amazing and I feel like I'm rolling hard on excstasy, hours later. I wasn't lying before, this guy really has quite the effect on me. The whole time I was working I was tense and trying to be so nonchalant, and we had one decent conversation towards the beginning, about football of all things. He is so serious and deep. He thinks I am always joking, and says he can't tell what's straight with me. The truth is, I do kid around a ton. I need to. It's my shield. I like the attention off me, and if other people are laughing, everything's cool. This is just how I am, mostly towards the opposite sex. It's me flirting.
So yes, I'm on a cloud. He started texting me nonstop as soon as I left, telling me to come back and kiss him, saying "want to smoke later?", letting me know his phone was dying. I hate to say it, but I knew all along this would happen. Things were too good between us for it to be over so quick!
I'm happy :) He is leaving October 29th and we're going to chill as much as possible before then.
Calorie-wise, today has been excellent. I got a comment saying that keeping busy burns calories and let me say YES it does! Moving around is good!
I am just sitting here, blasting music, smoking a little, rehashing every thing we both said earlier, and feeling great with a fluttery stomach and a hot heart. I heart J. I know it's early, but it's true. We are so meant for each other. Sure, I say this about every guy, but I know for sure that we met for a reason. I remember the exact moment I saw him for the first time. I was at work, looking for a younger girl who I had to train that day. It was right when I came back to work, and there were new faces. J.'s was one of them. That day, he stood behind the deli counter and I came rushing by and then when I turned around our eyes met. I blushed, and said "Hi, I'm Sarah. I'm just looking for Kayla because I'm training her today." He said, "Hi, I'm J." *Sighs*
OhLord. Save me now. At least the prospect of us is a great reason to restrict calories. Take care ya'll. I hope I can sleep tonight.