"It's better to feel pain,
than nothing at all...
the opposite of love
You know what this means, right? Things with J. are back to being completely precarious. So. Predictable. Of. Us.
I'm annoyed because all I want to do is push back the feelings for him that I have, but I'm equally annoyed of my desire to detach.
I am a barrel of fun these past two days, contemplative and easily angered. My temper coexists within my mind, not always peacefully.
Either way, I'm going to see him tonight, for the third new years eve in a row. We are not back together. We (probably) won't kiss at the strike of midnight. We will (hopefully) make it through the evening with no drama. We have to. I am through with 2012's troubles and moving on with life, even though this particular guy is clearly sticking around for awhile. There's just no fighting it. *sighs*
I'm procrastinating hardcore (gee Sar, I couldn't tell...six posts in two days?). I want to start 2013 off nice and organized. My paper pile/bills/boring shit like that is taking over a corner of my bedroom and I will attack it after I press Publish. I promise!