Things change. Every single second.
Dear Readers, hi, I am confused and oddly enough, sexually satisfied.
That's right. Last night T. and I got it on. Haha I stayed over there and he drove us both to school this morning.
What else can I do but laugh? What is going on? Lol. Ohgod.
Let me backtrack. This week flew by. I am seriously behind on reading for 4 classes. I have been trying like hell to stay positive and to stay on track with the eating.
Edit: the next day-
Hello again. I apparently just stopped typing that post and popped in a movie instead; my attention span is zero. I talked to T. on the phone!!! for 45 minutes. He called me. *smiles* He called me. haha he called me! for once! Lolz.
I am pathetic, ha. But seriously the past couple of days have been ok. I can't concentrate at all. I am doing a million things at once. I am going to gather up laundry and head home for the day. Maybe night, I'm not sure. I feel so bad leaving my cat. I feel bad bringing laundry home. I'm just a bundle of mixed up, loony feelings. And yet I'm on a cloud. Things are far from perfect with T. But I want to give us another chance. I think. I am obviously nervous about the idea of putting myself out there, once again.
He won't leave my mind. We did it. Twice. It was hot. So hot. So, so good to feel his skin on mine, our arms and legs completely entwined, our breath on our skin, his mouth on my cheek, my hand in his.
Why do I need someone in my life? Not for purely selfish reasons, I assure you. I really have no close girlfriends, no confidantes. A boyfriend has always been my outlet, my necessity. I have been without love for years. From a significant other. I need someone to need me. I need this because I am so alone and "full of broken thoughts I can't repair" (Johnny Cash). T. could be this for me. T. could become someone important to me and I could be his sweetheart. Why do I want this? Because I don't want to die of loneliness.
I just smoked a cig. My whole body is so weak. I got a good workout in thursday at self defense and thursday night and friday morning, of course, I got a workout labeled on Lose It as Sexual Activity. Ha. But I can feel it!
Well, I need to get up and accomplish some stuff. Love ya'll. Think thin today.