well hello

well hello

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Don't Eat Yet.

Good day. It is almost two o'clock in the afternoon and all I've eaten is cottage cheese with strawberries and blueberries. It is a small portion. I barely have an appetite. It's different, all of a sudden I just lost the hunger. I am okay with it, actually, because I am clearly losing weight. Bones, bones, and a nicer face because some of the fat has melted away. Seeing myself on Tv really showed me that I have a fat face. I have always thought it, but was never absolutely sure. Until now. So maybe that contributes.

I am sort of a mess. I have been so damn busy. I cannot believe everything that has been and still has to be done. Ugh. I am ready for a break, but that is simply not an option. My moods are unstable. I haven't slept properly in over a week. Sleep, who needs it anyway?

I have less than a month of school left. Then comes summer and moving to my parent's house. I wonder what the hell I'm going to do next.

I am hoping inspiration comes to me all of a sudden. I smoked just now. Still kinda am actually, but it doesn't take much anymore.

My entire life is changed and I hope for the better.

You wouldn't believe how petrified I feel. My security, the only sense of safety I've ever known, is gone. Simply vanished and I must move on!

First things first. Activate cell phone. Go to store. Shower. T. Meeting. Study. Sleep.



I can do this.

[on an empty stomach]

bring on the cigs


think thin.


everything is better as long as I am getting thinner..

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