well hello

well hello

Monday, April 19, 2010

Normal is not I.

I am going to bed with an empty stomach. It was growling in protest. There was a small voice inside my head urging me to go downstairs for a snack. There was a louder voice who said, "No snack! Snacks make people fat!".

The louder voice won the battle in my brain.

Does this even make sense? Bottom line? I am hungry, HAHA FUCK YOU STOMACH NO FOOD TO FEED YOUR FATNESS!!!!

The skinny girl gets it all. The skinny ones are memorable. I will never be "just another fat chick". Never.

I am losing weight and I like it.

For the win : )

Oh, and T. and I spent another night together. Just goes to show that guys can't resist thin chicks. They want an ego boost just like the rest of us. T. knows that having a thin girl on his arm makes him look good. I can't blame him for that. I just know that everything is fine as long as I'm getting thinner.

I think I ate maybe 700 calories today. I haven't ate over 1000 calories/day in two weeks. I don't even need my Lose it app because all of this stays in my head. I eat so little that it's easy to remember it all.

Keep in mind, darling readers/new followers: I am an adult. I am 23 years old and I can choose to eat very little because my brain and body are done growing. I can choose going hungry because this is a free country and no one is shoving food down my mouth.

Don't be like me. Be normal, before it's too late.


I am so wired from the black coffee I drank this evening. It is 3 AM. I am waking up in six hours. Fuck sleep right now. I am high from lack of food, I think. I kinda like it. It means that even if I do fall asleep, I will be able to jump right out of bed. Coffee and cigs for breakfast. Class. Test. Shopping?

Shopping is not the same anymore, and not because I hate trying on clothes. Needs, wants...they are a total dichotomy and I am realizing this for the first time. I have clothes on my back, shelter overhead...what more is necessary? I can assure you that a great wardrobe with plenty of accessories will not guarantee happiness and confidence.

It's quite funny to me now. Life is one grand adventure. Life is impermanent. Look good while you still can. Be thin. Think thin.


Anonymous said...

I went to bed hungry, too!

Anonymous said...

Awesome! Congrats lady! I'm rooting for you, and you're inspiring me. Keep strong!

zen said...

"The skinny ones are memorable."
Love it!

So are the naughty ones... I want to be skinny and very very naughty. Life is too short to behave ;)

Luv ya!
xoxo zen

Blue Butterfly said...

I'll be going to bed with an empty stomach too! Which surprisingly didn't growl at me the whole day even though I didn't feed it at all.


flabby-j said...

my stomach goes beyond growling, it freaking HOWLS like there's no tomorrow!! 700 kcal. damn awesome! /xo