well hello

well hello

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Skinny bitch.

Wow, my younger (but taller) brother just called me a "snotty little bitch" in front of my parents. We were sitting around the dinner table, having a decent family meal, for once.
Of course, it's all my fault. I should just shut up and let him talk because he's never home, or at least that's what my mom implied. But sorry, I'm not going to sit back and listen to him make racist statements. I put my two cents in and my mom gave me a nasty look. My dad ignored it all, sighing every once in awhile. They all fucking hate me and worship every ignorant piece of work that spews from his childish mouth.

I'm fucking pissed right now. But mostly sad. I feel sad that I ruined it. Isn't that fucked up? He is the youngest, and gets away with fucking murder. I'm the stupid, depressed middle child, ha, feels funny to think of myself as a child. You know what I mean though. Middle children get screwed in more ways than one. It's a fact...look it up.

Ok, so now that I want to die, I should really just change the subject. Ok. How do you guys get so many comments on your blogs? I wish I could. Even if I ask questions no one responds. Guess I'm just slipping through the cracks.

I was supposed to hang with A. tonight but I blew him off. I don't even know why. Actually I do. I am fucking scared to get to know him and too worried that I look fat to be comfortable around someone I am so attracted to. I hate myself. I should have done this day right, but no, I've fucked it alllll up. Like usual. Omg why am I thinking what happened at dinner is my fault? It really wasn't! I truly think my bro needs an attitude adjustment. I never learn though. He doesn't back down once he's on a roll, which he was. My biggest problem is that HE CALLED ME A BITCH! WTF!
My parent's didn't even defend me or say "Don't call your sister that!" or ANYTHING. WHAT THE  FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK OMG OMG OMG I WANT TO SCREAMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But I won't. I'll get dressed, put in my contacts, grab my bowl, and leave this house for awhile. I don't know where I'll go but most likely Walmart to buy everything I need for my apartment because my mom clearly stated that she wouldn't be helping me buy anything. Oh god that's so fucked up. My shit burns down and she doesn't want to help me buy more? UGHHHH I am seriously freaking out and it really sucks because I was in a decent mood.

This sneaking suspicion that, he's right, I am a bitch, is sort of killing me right now. I'm not though!! I'm nice! I was defending black people for God's sake... he is just a little smart ass ignorant punk who thinks he knows a lot but really doesn't know SHIT.

Enough!!!!!!!!!!!! I need to stop fueling my own fire!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Think thin...


Charr. said...

I don't know why you don't get as many comments as some other people do..it's weird that way haha. I don't know, but you totally deserve more :)
Sorry for such a pathetic comment, feeling pretty crappy myself but just wanted to let you know even though I don't always comment, I'm always reading [:

Bree said...

You deserve more comments. :) Your brother sounds like a jerk, and I'm sad that your parents always take his side. For the record, you aren't a bitch. xoxo