I was hoping for some helpful comments on that last post. Didn't get any, LOL. I guess no one can solve my problems ... only me, myself, and I. Fasted today. Until now. I'm fucking starving and just ordered a mini 4-slice veggie pizza from my local deli. Isn't that just wonderful? I didn't pick it up yet, but I'm about to.
I know that even if I eat the whole thing I won't breach my calorie limit for the day. That is a good thing. It's terrible that I'm giving in, and eating. But I'm beyond stressed and if I don't eat something resembling a meal I will likely snack the night away on fattening shit. It's honestly better in today's situation for me to eat some oven-baked veggie pizza and be filled up so I don't snack.
Snacking is bad. Eating is bad. Why am I giving in, really? Too many reasons to count. I am a sick fool.
*30 minutes later*
I'm back. I ate two slices and put it in the fridge. The good news is that I'm still so hungry. The other good news is that I am officially done eating. I am exacting control over the situation. I am taking charge.
I am also smoking [surprise, surprise]. I enjoy getting high. I've smoked for years. I am not saying this is a positive thing. Just saying.
So tonight I have two choices regarding plans: (1) Take a walk with J. this new guy I met. OR (2) Get a drink with C. to talk, because I blew him off last week.
I'll decide shortly. It's already nine at night, though. Maybe I'll say fuck off to both of them and go to sleep.
Oh, my pounding head.
Am I sick?
---in the head, maybe.
Can't think straight.