well hello

well hello

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Ana's getting to me.

What a week. T. & I. Wow. WOw.!!! ohgod, our hooking up reaches a new level every time. My body feels numb. We were together for 8 hours this evening. 8 fucking hours. He is super sexy and he turns me on...we haven't had sex though. Not even close, really. But it's like, something to look forward to.

I can wait. I am still having CRAZY body issues. I look at myself and see fat. fat. fat. flab. flab. fat.

Ok, that is out of my system. Now a more realistic point of view: I have been restricting and it shows. I have still been eating. Not as many carbs, way less sugar..etc. I have no idea what I weigh and it is driving me nuts. Is there somewhere I can just go and weigh myself, preferably confidentially? A gym, perhaps. Lol, I wouldn't know -I never work out. I do live on the 4th floor, and get quite a bit of stair climbing in, especially during laundry. I park far away, so I can walk a few extra steps.

That is it, really. I stretch a lot. I suck in my stomach constantly, I think that tightens it? Maybe.

My thoughts are all over the place. I just want to be thinner and sexier. Tonight T. & I were laying topless in his bed, just kissing and hugging, and it was wonderful because he would grab my waist with the crook of his arm, like in his elbow, and kind of pull me closer to him. I think he liked my (do I dare say) small frame next to his larger one. Ohgod. He is so hott. My point is, guys like to feel bones. I believe it to be true, anyways. Sure they love curves too, but every single experience I've had with guys tells me they like skinny chics.

Fiona Apple - "Hunger hurts, but starving works, when it costs too much to love."

I relate! to that^

When in doubt just lose a few pounds.

My motto.

Think thin.

Stay STRONG! against evil, fattening food.

<3 to you all.

No comments: