Here it is. T. will be back either Saturday or Sunday, which is when (if all goes according to plan and he doesn't change his mind & stay home) I will see him next. [I can't wait] Ahem. Ok. So today is Friday. Shit. Not much time.. unless I make an active attempt to eat nothing. gawdammit whywhywhy is this holiday based around food and dinner and dessert and bread and sweets and fuck it all- being thin means more than giving in to some stupid craving for warmth and fullness in my tummy.
Back to the plan. Today I am just going to do my best. Tomorrow though, absolutely nothing. Therefore: I will sleep in and deny food if my mom offers it and get on the road back to my place fast.
The minutes are ticking by. Why on earth am I not more excited to get home and open gifts? Well, it's all just material objects. Plus the sizes, oh the sizes. Medium tops and big bottoms. Ugh. WhatEVER.
I got myself here. It's up to me to find a way out. I need to lose. Now. Every minute of every day needs to be dedicated to staying in this mindset.
Have a great day, all. I will be thinking of you and trying to stay strong. It has been tough lately but I have to keep trying! Peace~
& remember to
- think thin
- stay strong
- keep in mind that nothing tastes as good as thin feels