It's all so complex now.
I am at my parent's house and just binged on: (2)pieces of toast with I can't believe it's not butter spread. 2 nature valley crunchy granola bars (1 package). a couple pieces of chocolate. Earlier? doritos. Whatta pig. Kill me. Please.
I can't do anything right. I am at battle with the queen bee, that bitch, fuck you mia.
I am so fucking fat and not fit and a failure and a freak and fuck you Sar die die die.
T. is out of reach, I feel.
I am having weird pains throughout my body.
I am a bad influence on everyone around me.
I can't control anything, let alone myself.
I can't even be around food without wanting it when I feel like this.
I went shopping with my mom today, for clothes. OH GOD. Size 9 fucking skinny jeans KILL ME NOW. They fit comfortably. 7 was tight and I was feeling full and not prepared to buy them. I fucking should have. Talk about a reason to lose. B/c obvious my current reasons AREN'T FUCKING WORKING!!!!!!
It is 2:10 am. I am leaving my parent's house to go smoke pot with a friend. I need a cigarette so bad. Can't wait to light one up.
Peace, everyone. Hope you're doing better than me.