well hello

well hello

Saturday, June 12, 2010

A picture of me.

My nails are so brittle, last night someone accidentally stepped on my toe and my toenail broke right in half. Funny thing is, the same thing happened last week. Just on my other toe. So now I have two broken big toenails, after a lifetime of never having this happen. I'm always cold. It is summer and every night I have put on a sweatshirt and socks and turned the heat on in my car and huddled under blankets in bed, only to wake, covered in sweat.

Today my Dad asked me if I wanted a sub, from Subway. Actually he asked if I wanted a "veggie thing" - lol Dad...anyway I said no, "because I had a fast food bean burrito last night." He goes, "You're not going to eat because you ate yesterday?" HA! Now you understand!! So I just said I don't like take-out two days in a row, either way I am proud of my strength.

I have ate today, though. I had an apple for breakfast (45 cal). Some organic blue corn chips with melted cheese & salsa for lunch (450 cal). A "tofurkey" beer brat on one slice of whole wheat toast with lettuce and mustard for dinner (330). And that's fucking it. Total? 825. Not fucking terrible, and I am guessing high on the calorie counts, like always...

It's too much though. But again, I drank. Last night I downed some beers at this local carnival. I went with friends. It was fun. But drinking ZAPS my energy, and makes me so hungry. I hate it and I love it. Needless to say, before I DROVE home (I'm a bad, bad girl for drinking/driving), I stopped at this taco place and grabbed some munchies. And you know? It was damn good. AND I woke SKINNY!!!!

Love when that happens :)

Restriction pays off.
But I must say, it also hurts. My poor brittle nails. My frozen self. My hair falling out whenever I touch it or comb it. My pale skin. My hip bones, my clavicle, my ribs, my wrists, ankles, knees...I love bones. Who am I kidding? I can deal with all of this. I just want to be thin.

I take two gummy vitamins everyday. I load up on veggies and fruit because I like the taste and because they are so low cal. I need to do more though, to be thinner.

Wanna see a poor-quality picture of MOI taken with my cell phone?

This is the FIRST TIME EVER that I'll post a REAL picture of me!!

It's just a side shot, taken a couple days ago. I keep pictures of me on the background of my cell phone for thinspiration. I just open my phone, gasp at the horror, and put down the cookie. Ha, here I am:

It's awful, I know. My right arm looks HUMONGOUS!! And my belly is sticking out like whoa. But whatevs, now you *kinda* know who you're reading about. Some brunette in blue, with a fat stomach.

Judge me.

and Think Thin!!


1 comment:

Stick Thin said...

I could never judge you. And I'm jealous of your long hair.
There are always downsides to not eating, and yet we trudge on eh?