I don't want to type this out but I have to. Tonight, after everyone left the house and I was alone with Mia, I made oven-baked french fries. While they were cooking I walked on the treadmill until I burned exactly 100 calories. I ate them, I dipped them in high fructose corn syrup aka ketchup. And then I puked until I tasted bile.
I'm sick in the head and want to be stoned. I will smoke after my parents go to bed. I will not eat for the rest of this night or even tomorrow because food makes me sick. Scratch that, I make me sick.
I feel my stomach fucking grumbling. It's empty, the way it should be. But fuck you stomach. You suck.
2 times in 1 day, am I really doing this again?
This is only the beginning. I've lost weight in the past year (since I started purging) and I will continue to lose weight. Why? Because losing weight makes me feel good. Being skinny is all I need right now. It's the only goal worth accomplishing at the moment. Once I'm content with my weight maybe I'll focus on my brain. Maybe.
Those fries tasted like shit, I couldn't even taste them because my sinuses are so clogged; I can't breathe or smell. I am glad they're gone, down the toilet they go. Bye fries.
Nothing tastes as good as thin feels <3
Thin is in.