I woke up in a nasty mood. I'm just pissed off. It might be because the attention is NOT on me, it's on my sister and her new baby. They're all coming here tomorrow, for a long weekend visit. I am really excited, truly...it's been awhile since I've seen my sister and her husband and I've NEVER seen the new baby...but today I'm mad.
So what do I do? Blog. And I just put on "Shakedown Street" by the Grateful Dead. I'm still coughing my lungs out, and that really sucks. How ladylike, how classy of me, to be hacking up a lung every ten minutes in the morning. Maybe I should drink something, maybe I should eat....HAHA JOKE.
Like eating would help a goddamn thing. I hate fucking food. I ate last night, it's becoming a tradition. I wait until everyone goes to bed, because no one can know I eat, and then I go binge, essentially.
Last night it was a veggie burger with lettuce and mustard on a sandwich thin. I'm sorry, but those Arnold Sandwich Thins that everyone keeps raving about just taste like chalk to me.
But I ate it anyway, and then got some cereal and scarfed that down, quickly, so no one knows or hears.
Then I ate an apple and a banana.
Full yet? Nope, not hardly. This was at two in the morning.
So then I got creative; I cut an ice cream sandwich in half and put both halves in a bowl. Then I topped it with a spoonful of creamy peanut butter. Finally, I added some chocolate syrup and smashed it all together, and my goodness, it was good. But so fattening. But then I was done. Full. Satiated.
Well not really, I started chewing gum like crazy until I was tired enough to contemplate sleeping. And so I slept, tossing and turning, with sexual dreams. That's right. In my dream I was getting freaky with a sexy, BUILT black man. It was hot, I'm not going to lie. I woke to my brother calling me from work, freaking out because he didn't have his cell phone.
I guess that put me in a bad mood.
Also, I've gained. (Obviously, you're saying, because one cannot binge without gaining). I stepped on the scale when I woke and it said 133.
What the fuck happened to my will power??
What the fuck is wrong with me? I was blaming the weight gain on my period, but now that's done so there's no excuse for me.
I hate me.
I will do my best to RESTRICT LIKE MAD this weekend. All eyes should be OFF me, so hopefully it'll be easy. I just can't fucking wait to move. I want to be alone.