Oops, I threw up again. This morning. With a concerned mom making me tea and waiting on me, I lounged on the couch, secretly thrilled that I puked up the disgusting food that I ate last night when I got home from a bar. I hate eating. I hate food. I hate being full. Well, it's a love/hate kind of thing.
My esophagus burns and my stomach is tangled up in knots, but I'm alright. Last night was fun, despite the fact that I've felt sick all weekend. I like how I've been restricting and throwing up. It's a bad combination, you're probably inclined to think...but I REFUSE to be anything less than stick thin. My body can't handle when I eat, clearly, so I must GET RID OF IT!
And since I have yet to hop back on the treadmill (*blush*), I might as well keep doing what I'm doing.
I compare my body to others constantly. In magazines, on tv, in real life. Every woman has a different shaped body, which is wonderful, beautiful, blah blah. I don't care about them. As long as I'm thinner than EVERYONE I meet than I'm good!
I have been so busy as of late. Reading for my summer class, hanging with old friends, bonding with my mom occasionally, smoking (!), NOT working...Ok, so I'm a bum. But a busy bum.
Love ya'll. Please comment telling me to WORK OUT!!!!!!!!
I NEED your encouragement...it's refuels me, in place of food.
think thin :)
THINK THIN : )
THINK FUCKING THIN!!!
OH, yeah...THINK THIN!!!
because thinking thin puts you on the path to skinny. think thin before every bite. think thin when there is temptation in the form of cookies. think thin everyday. think thin for life.
it's healthy, after all, to be thin.
((feeling a little crazy today, eh?))