Here I sit, procrastinating so well, books and notebooks and looseleaf paper strewn about. Candy in my stomach (160 calories worth, holyfuck), water at my side. My brain is rolling around in its juices, soaking up random words and phrases that float by and want to be said or wrote. I won't let them. I need to concentrate, dammit. I have a page and a half. I need four more. I can freakin' do it. Right??
Sparkles and quick flits of light dash around me and my eyes catch them, peripherally.
I have a confession to make. Last night after work instead of doing a million better things I called and ordered a tomato slice covered and olive oil coated white pizza. It was a "medium" which is 8 slices. I asked for "light on the olive oil". I ate....6 slices.
I'm sorry, world. I'm sorry, Sar.
It was a serious craving. In my ONLY DEFENSE I can assure you that I did not eat any of the crusts. They formed a limp pile on my napkin. I felt like a pig, but I did eat it slowly, while savoring it. I blotted every slice with a few napkins. I tried my best to be GOOD about it but really, what good can come from ordering a pizza for ONE?
Another good thing, I did not blow my calorie limit for the day, I truly believe that. I was hungry and empty-stomached when I ordered it, and I walked to get it.
Listen to these justifications!!!!! As if.
Oh yeah, the paper, gahhhh....
Just wanted to update. I will type up a real post tomorrow, when the craziness starts to settle.
Do I feel fat today, after all that pizza? In a way yes. In a way, it could honestly be much worse. I've been chugging water and restricting today (but that damn candy slipped me up) so I am okay with the situation. I fulfilled a craving and that is good to do. Now I won't be thinking about pizza day in and day out. Sometimes you have to choose your battles.
I want you to know that I would rather do just about anything in the world than finish writing this paper. The problem is my focus. It's fucking shot. Must be all the weed.